The Long and the Shorts of It All

Veronica Writes

When women get to be “of a certain age” questions of appropriateness inevitably rear their ugly heads. I think I have squarely hit that certain age. With a vengeance.

My questions of appropriateness have actually turned into a LIST of questions of appropriateness:

Should I stop wearing shorts?

What about sleeveless blouses?

Is my hair too long?

When should I stop dying it?

Should I do something about my wrinkles?

The shorts quandary is a tough one for me. It’s on the top of my list for good reason.

Lord knows I don’t have the legs I used to. Not even close.

Somehow all of my beautiful taut thigh skin has loosened up and is now gathering all-wrinkley-elephant-like around my knees.

The old buttocks isn’t riding as proudly as it used to. Cellulite is blooming in some very dishonorable places.

I can’t trust a mirror (or maybe it’s my perception of what I see in the mirror that I can’t trust).

Sometimes the reflection is horrifying to me, other times I feel I’m pulling it off just fine. I should just toss the stupid looking glass and risk the seven years bad luck.

Here’s the problem with giving up shorts – I love hiking and biking. I adore feeling comfortable and I abhor being hot.

I’m not so vain that I’ll start wearing a burqa while hiking, but I must admit there’s some exhibition anxiety while
standing in line at the post office after arriving by bike.

When does my loss of comfort become less imperative than the comfort of the leg-looking-at public? I try to use my own reaction to others’ exposed skin as a barometer.

But, again, I get mixed results.I admire the healthy sixty-something lady at Yellowstone in her cute khakis, shudder when I see someone with cut-off sweats riding high in the butt crack.

Short sleeves fall into this same category. A friend of mine calls those lovely gal-flaps under her arms “Hey Judys!”

As a child, my friend spied a tourist lady in a large hat frantically flagging down her buddy, Judy, and bringing about quite a bit of upper arm wobbling. That kind of thing sticks with a kid.

In my not-so-trusty mirror I’m seeing some Hey Judy! action of my own happening. For some reason, my upper arm area is not so bad when I look directly at it, but photos can go either way. It really sucks. I’m torn between going all-out-Grandma-floral-muumuu and the trendier, more comfy summer tank.

Neither seems appropriate.

Must I have Michelle Obama arms to go sleeveless? I love that our First Lady has opened the door for women my age to wear the style, but maybe she could loosen up and go just a bit Hey Judy! for the masses? 😉

As for the too old for long hair predicament, ever since my mid-twenties I’ve been dreading the day that I’d have to cut my hair short.

I’ve always had long hair. The few times I’ve cut it to shoulder length I immediately regretted it. I love the ease of throwing it into a ponytail and getting on my merry way without fuss.

David and I have a pact about the hair dye. He has promised me that when I start getting that pasty-face-and-shoe-polish-hair look, he will let me know. It took a lot to get that promise out of him since I’m sure he sees it as one of those “does this make my butt look big” traps. God love him.

Then there are the dreaded wrinkles. I absolutely HATE my “worry line.” The crease between my eyebrows looks more and more like the Grand Canyon everyday. I spend an increasing amount of time pulling up the skin on my forehead and admiring myself as I would look with a brow lift.

Let’s face it, this is a two-faced dilemma for women of our generation if there ever was one. We, as a society, admire the youthful looking women we see, yet admonish them for the plastic surgery they’ve had. We need to be kinder to each other about our personal choices.

I’ve googled what a brow lift entails. It’s pretty scary. Until something is discovered that doesn’t involve facial detachment, I’m going to have to pass. Unless I change my mind. (BUT, I did end up trying Botox – don’t judge me until you read this!)

The mirror being the liar that it is, I started asking around for advise. This, too, was conflicting and unhelpful.

My daughter: The Piglet: “I think it’s up to the woman and what she is personally comfortable with.” (Nice sentiment, but unhelpful to someone who has no idea WHAT she is comfy with).

My daughter: Decibel: “Why
the hell do you care so much?” (Oh, just you wait missy!)

David: “I’ll be really pissed if you get plastic surgery. Other than that, I’ll love you no matter what.” (He’s really good at dodging does-this-make-my-butt-look-big traps, so his opinion doesn’t count in this matter, but it’s sweet nonetheless.)

Even after Googling these various subjects, I find myself in very conflicted territory. Opinions range wildly – everywhere from the you’ve-come-a-long-way-baby / you-go-girl tribe condoning a let-it-all-hang-out lifestyle, to the more conservative clan that uses words like grace and class. Once again, I fall firmly into neither camp.

Maybe I should just chuck the mirror, stop harassing my loved ones, ditch Google and give up.

The stress of it all is giving me hot flashes.


YOUR TURN: Are you as conflicted as I am? Any advice?

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92 thoughts on “The Long and the Shorts of It All”

  1. Oh, Veronica!!! You could probably hear me laughing through cyberspace. Trust me, I feel your pain. I have started believing in ‘Just Because It Fits Doesn’t Mean You Should Wear It’. Just the other day I bequeathed a pair of J Brand Jeans to The Child using this rule. I had put them on to go to work. They fit. But I thought they looked ridiculous, in a ‘mutton-dressed-as-lamb’ sort of way. So, gone. But this does not mean I have thrown in the towel and dress like a dowdy 60-something. Right this very minute I am wearing a Betsy Johnson skull necklace. Perhaps I like it because the skull makes me look young by comparison.

  2. Veronica, Oh gosh. I was laughing so hard I almost didn’t think, why don’t men have these nagging questions, like, “Should I do a comb over?” Anyway, my hair has always been short–too fine to grow much beyond chin length so I say yes to long hair, pnnytails and even braids. I did give up shorts and wear capris and a gauzy 3/4 length shirt over my short sleeve/sleeveless tops. “Hey Judys” had me convulsed. It is amazing that women put up with so much media *%@& and still end up with such a wonderful sense of humor. Love your blog. Thank you for sharing it. Barb

    1. Yeah, a comb over is never a good choice – hahaha! I agree that much of it is a media driven thing, and we’ve let it be embedded in our heads. BUT I also believe that humor starts at home, and if you can’t laugh at yourself – who CAN you laugh at?

  3. I’m not sure of your age, but I think you look fantastic! I was nodding my head in agreement with everything single thing you so eloquently described about the joys of aging. I too have tossed around the idea of getting that frown line botoxed between my brow. I have also recently considered letting my hair go salt and pepper as I see a few women my age that look just fine without hair dye. As for hair length I maintain a short to mid length bob and I think that is a good compromise. I believe there is too much emphasis on age appropriateness with what we wear and I don’t believe we have to cover up legs or arms because they are a little less toned than we would like. Comfort and practicality always should take precedence over looking immaculate. So I say wear shorts and sleeveless tops and dresses because they are cool and comfortable. We need to learn to comfortable in our own bodies.

    1. We absolutely need to learn to become more comfortable with our bodies – but it really is hard to do, you know? As for my age, I’ve sailed past fifty and trying to not think about it too much! 😉

  4. Wait a minute…you look 40! Seriously you are so full of life and laughter youth really flows. I think you did describe my knees though. My husband, blessed with too much honesty at times put it best years ago. “Why do women stress so much on their appearance to other people? What are they really trying to look good for? A casket, because eventually no matter life’s experiences that’s where we are all heading.” And it’s true….I don’t glory in my jiggly parts but I love that my knees still function and my hips carry me. And while this year I discovered chicken neck, I decided that long hair worked great to camo that skin. I decided pale lipgloss covered the bleeding lip stick from my mouth lines….I am rolling with it and accept each line and wrinkle for the story they tell. In the mean time Veronica, where those shorts, display your teacher arms proudly in a great tank top and trust your hair girl to keep your locks shiny. #muchrespect

    1. Thanks so much Kim! I think I tend to forget the gratitude part of the equation – and it’s so important to remember. I love your attitude towards life – and sharing it has perked mine right up! -Veronica

  5. 62 and live in NJ, I wear shorts, maybe a little longer than I used to and a bathing suit, again more of the gym shorts type bottom and tankini top covering all the bits. In summer I cut my hair short because I am at the pool everyday, in winter it grows, I use hair dye and basically do what I want. Not out to impress the world, only to enjoy my life and to try not to embarrass those around (read my 28 y/o daughter) too much. Life is too short not to enjoy and live it the way you want. Do what makes you happy and comfortable.

  6. I loved reading how woman feel they’ve earned the right to dress as they would like to and for comfort. I really appreciated the advice on hair and shorts because I can relate.
    I feel once we’ve turned a certain age, we do need to keep caring about our appearance-not obsess about it- but let it reflect our feel-good attitude. In other words, not let ourselves go.I have seen 70 year old women that turn heads and are still beautiful.
    I have a small list of what not to do. This is for myself because when I’ve seen it on other women my age I wonder why they no longer care about how they look. So, I’ll share it for whatever it’s worth:

    1. Baggy, ill-fitted Capris look a hot mess especially when paired with man-like shoes. 100% Frumpy but for some reason older women all over are wearing this outfit A LOT.

    2. Long hair (middle of the back)and wrinkles don’t go together-unless the hair is silver.

    3. “Hello Kitty” tops and Harvard sweatshirts are sad to see on an older woman.

    4.Sleeveless is great for day/casual wear. Everyone knows we expose our unsightly arms as a trade-off for keeping cool in hot weather. But if you’d like to dress up and look nice then cover the upper arm if it flaps/hangs too low.

    5.Skorts are for younger girls and tennis-no doubt about it.

    6. Shorts are fine at any age as long as they’re not short shorts. A form fitted short just above the knee is a much nicer look than those baggy capris. (ugh, my pet peeve)

    7.Always continue to work out (bike, jog, walk) to keep your body in shape. Just because you’re 50 doesn’t mean you get to stop loving your body.

    8. There are feminine shoes that are also good for your feet. Arch support does not equal big, brown ugly shoes. Get a pair of loose fitting ballet slipper style shoes and they’ll look cute with any outfit and can easily fit an arch support.

    9. If a brow line bothers you and you’d feel better about yourself with some help-then go for the botox. Moderation is key and using a bit of botox doesn’t make you Joan Rivers.

    10. A little lipstick, if nothing else, looks nice. Heavy make-up doesn’t look great at any age but if you’re one to go without just see if you feel just a tiny bit better with a nice color lipstick or gloss.

    And I could go on…

    I guess it bothers me when woman take care of themselves and then stop once they’ve reached a certain age. We all still care what you look like! And we know you no longer care but we’re not sure why. My Grandma turned heads when she was 80 (no lie). I guess I still see the beauty. It’s depressing when I go to a festival or dinner and see a woman in her 50s dressed in baggy capris, brown man-shoes, long, messy hair and a Harvard sweatshirt. It’s depressing because I know she thinks she’s unattractive (even though many times the woman is quite beautiful), hasn’t thought even a moment about how she appears and has given up and “let herself go” because she is focused on how old she is. I would rather see her in cute shorts, sleeveless top and a pony tail. At least I’d think she cared…

  7. I cut my hair when I turned 50 because all the people who advise such things told me that is what women of a certain age should do. I hated my hair short, but I kept it that way anyway. Then, when I returned for a college reunion I saw a good friend who had returned to her long hair look. I loved it, and found that she looked 10 years younger than she had with short hair. When I turned 60, I figured the only person that mattered what my hair should be was me. I immediately let it grow. I have never regretted that. Long hair is who I am, no matter what age I am. I spend some money getting it trimmed and wear it simply. I have lowlights combined with highlights to cancel the appearance of gray. I never got any compliments on my short hair since it looked pretty much like every other woman’s short hair. Now, I get constant compliments, but the only one that matters is the one from me who simply chose to be who I want to be at whatever age I choose. My short hair made me feel frumpy. My long hair makes me feel great. With that in mind, who would ever choose to feel bad about the way they look simply because the media says that’s what you should do.

  8. LOL!! My daughter said “Mom, you are 52 now and your hair looks like s***” It was short and gray, so I started letting it grow out and dyed it dark brown. I LOOK like SNOW WHITE on crack!! My daughter agreed. Back to mousy brown with threaded gray and be done with it!!

  9. A couple of years ago, when I was 55, I was on a big get-fit-lose-weight journey and I started bicycling. Eventually, I got tired of the capris I was wearing being too baggy and bunching in the wrong way so that I was uncomfortable when I rode. I ordered some plus-size bike capris online and started wearing them. It was amazing! They didn’t bunch up, they moved and stretched all the ways I needed them to, and they had a padded seat so my butt didn’t get sore. They also showed every roll and bulge I had. I would ride on the bike path in front of construction workers on their lunch breaks and nurses at the hospital and all kinds of people who had nothing to do but watch everyone go by.

    At first I was self-conscious. Fortunately, no one yelled things at me. I mulled it over, though, and found myself Just Not Caring. They didn’t know I’d lost 100 pounds and was still losing more. They didn’t know that I couldn’t have ridded that bike at all a year earlier. They didn’t know anything. I was proud of these things. I owned them. And nobody could take them away from me. So it didn’t matter what they thought or who they thought I was. I knew who I was. And I wore the bike pants with pride.

    I will say that I’m not fond of my batwing arms. On the bike, I’d wear a sleeveless top if it was hot. Just running around town or working, I have to say I wish they would make tops with longer sleeves. These short short sleeves get me at the wrong place and they’re just not comfortable.

    Moral? Wear whatever you feel good in. It matters not a hoot what anyone else thinks.

  10. Well I saw a lot of myself in your post! Its a bit comforting knowing I have a lot of company with this getting old biz. I religiously watched the show Brothers & Sisters. In one episode Sally Fields was contemplating plastic surgery but decided against it saying “Every baby I ever had, every kiss I gave or got, every tear, every glass of wine is right here on my face. I own it. It’s who I am and I don’t want to be someone else.” So I say Thank you Nora Walker (Sally Fields)- Brothers & Sisters for helping me feel better about all the wrinkles and lines on my face. They all are my life and I’m proud of it!

  11. What a wonderful column to read today.
    I just finished a book by the late Nora Ephron, I Feel Bad About My Neck. What a hoot. She deals with all your problems with a candid hilarious look at all women’s problems. Here we are, all older women with desires to look better. Well here’s looking at all of us and telling the world that we can kick ass and smile at the same time. We are in the best years to enjoy who we are. So my dear Veronica, I wish all these women and you were able to meet and have one big reception to share who we are, tready or not.
    You arrange it and I bet we would all be there. Silver’s in girls, it the new color!!

    1. What a great idea Rosemary! Could you imagine the chaos we’d provide? That alone makes me want to start planning. I love Nora Ephron – going to read the book on your recommendation. Keep “kickin’ ass and smiling.” May take that on as my new mantra! -Veronica

  12. Wow! I felt like you had read my mind while reading this!! I have been having the exact same conversations with myself and have come to the conclusion that I would rather spend money on my mind, by furthering my education and traveling, than on vanity.

  13. I can totally relate to every single word. Seriously… I have come to the conclusion that it really only matters what you think of yourself. I had a long conversation with my Dr and she said to focus on being healthy and stop worrying myself about the rest. I will never be 30 again or look like I am 30 again. 🙂 Nice to meet you!

    1. Indeed. I have to say – if I’m to be fully honest – the mental part of letting go of youth is tough for me. I’ve always had a soft spot for those colorful ladies who never fully let go – the “who cares what other folks think” attitude awes me. I look at it as a celebration of life – maybe that should be my goal!

  14. One advantage of having always dressed like an old lady is that now that I should dress like one, it’s not that big a deal. Neither of my parents really went way grey until their late 60’s. Along with their genes for jowls, varicose veins and bat wings, I also inherited their late greying hair gene, so mercifully,I’ve never had to think about coloring mine – yet.The flip side is that since I’m pushing 60, people probably just assume I color it anyway. I’m all for long shorts and short capris as a compromise for leg issues and I just pretend that short sleeves take care of the arm issues.(I don’t wave if someone is taking my picture.)

    Every once in awhile, but with increasing frequency, I receive an email telling me about a friend or acquaintance who is in intensive care or was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Then I just count my blessings, embrace my wrinkles, avoid mirrors and dance.

    1. Best tip yet: Don’t wave whilst having your picture taken. I’m fairly certain that goes for video too! And you’re right about the dance – we’re starting to lose folks too – wrinkles are nothing when put into perspective. Thanks!

  15. I all for natural. I love an older woman that just looks natural. I’ m 67 by thecway. You like shorts, wear them. You like long hair, do it. The problem is a older woman that gains weight and will not keep herself up. If your in shape dress like you want.

  16. After reading all the comments, all from women readers, I guess I’ll fall back on my old standard. “No, dear, that doesn’t make your butt look fat!” And go back to reading my newspaper.

  17. If nothing else, cut your hair. I remember from my youth seeing long hair from the back, only to have some wrinkled face turn around. It just didn’t go together. Your short hair doesn’t have to be the purple tinged, permed, elderly look.

    You can get a style that will be easy to care for, and actually make you look younger and fresher. If you’re pulling your hair back all the time anyway, it’s like short hair, but worse. Zero style.

    It’s hard when our hearts are still 25 but our bods are over 50. At least that’s my experience and my 2 cents worth.

  18. I absolutely loved this! I’m now an ‘official’ senior citizen – Medicare card and all. I’m pretty sure I have all the answers. I only wear shorts around the house. I don’t want to scare anyone with my skinny, veiny legs. If I hiked, I’d go ahead and wear them and wouldn’t care. But of course, hiking would mean EXERCISE! That’s sadly for me a four-letter word. Hence, the longer sleeves for that flabby stuff on my arms. As to my hair – I wear it to my waist, proudly! Actually, since it’s now thinning, I usually have to wear it up like a little old lady, but I refuse to cut it and BE a little old lady. I often wear it in a ponytail. Color? I quit coloring mine in my 50s. It got to be way too much trouble, and I like my silver hair. Certainly reflects my wisdom – for sure. 🙂 I’ve been lucky to not have very many wrinkles. The ones I do have are the hardest part of ‘getting older.’ I use every product on the market for those, short of Botox. Not gonna go there – yet!

    Thanks for such a wonderful blog post. I was so happy to have found your site when I did. I’ve enjoyed it so much. My goal in life is to sell everything I own and buy an RV to travel around the country. Unfortunately, the hubs won’t go along with that. Pray for me….LOL

    1. Carla! I LOVE your style. I can just tell that with a personality like yours that you can pull anything off that you want to. Good for you – thanks for encouraging me as well. -Veronica

  19. I have your answers, but keep in mind that I’m from Los Angeles. Keep coloring your hair for now. Keep your hair long, but not more than 3 inches past your shoulders. Get Botox. Really. I know about the baggy skin (around here, flabby upper arms are called “bingo wings”). Only thing to do there is moisturize. And only go sleeveless and in shorts to the post office or grocery. I know this sounds harsh, but you’re a public figure now! And your fans want you to be all you can be…

    1. Hahaha! Bingo wings. Yeah, botox. Not surprisingly, I go back and forth on that too. I have, however, kept myself from googling it. This is huge because googling kept me from getting vision correcting eye surgery and a brow lift. I’m pretty squimish. Not off the table – yet. -Veronica

  20. It’s been a while now since people argued with me about my age. I guess that means I am beginning to look my age. My whole life I have been known as red….so it’s part of who I am…I too have wondered how much longer I can pull it off, tho the color has softened as I age. My sleeves have gotten longer as well as the pants but I go for comfort all the way!! Heaven help us with global warming!!! So that is the long and short of it!

  21. I’m going grey but I cut my hair short. I think it makes your face look longer and as things start to wrinkle, and fall it looks better on me. I wore shorts this summer on the trip to the desert and hiking and found something not bad looking. A lot of loose capris turn out bad in photos so I am staying away from those. Try different styles to see what works now.

  22. I am rapidly approaching 60 and decided that I will wear what is comfortable and do what is comfortable. I lost 25% of my body weight and exercise regularly to maintain the weight loss. Sure, some stuff isn’t as tight as it once was, but I wear shorts, cut my hair short to make it easy to care for, and use nothing that maybe harmful including hair color and nail polish. Be yourself, as defined by you!

  23. For me personally I finally decided to have my long locks cut short a year and a half ago, best thing I ever did. Occasionally I reminiesce but in real terms I find my lovely short crop so much easier to deal with.. As for the whole bear arms debate again I personally choose to cover up with those cute little cardigans that are in most shops now, There perfect as they cover just enough of the arm and you don’t over heat… Shorts I haven’t worn for approx five years, I’m 43yrs by the way… I do have one concession on the shorts wearing, while gardening I would wear them, I think that’s exceptable to me..LOL :))

  24. I so hear you!! Going through the same thing with my hair. There is no kidding myself any longer – I am full fledged silver underneath that colored mop. How does one make the transition from dark hair to silver ….. keeps me up at night as well!

    1. Right? I’ve explored different ways of going about the change – it looks like there’s not a way to keep my hair long AND go silver. If you know something I don’t please let me know!

  25. Here’s my idea: go to skorts instead of shorts–they’re slightly more flattering, anyway.
    Re: the arms–try not to think about it too much.
    Re: hair, try not coloring for a while–if you hate it you can go back, no harm done.
    Re: the forehead: I’m pretty natural, but for the line between your brows that makes you look all pissed off–Botox, baby. I know it’s not politically correct, but Oh, does it make a difference. (only do that one spot and you won’t look “frozen.”) and if you don’t like it, it wears off in a few months.

    1. Thanks for all of the great ideas! I go back and forth about Botox (what a surprise!). Does it hurt? What does it cost? I know quite a few women who sing its praises, but a needle coming that close to my eye? Would they sedate me? 😉

  26. I think my mental body image has stayed the same, but my body hasn’t so as I age I still measure what I see in the mirror against that image. It’s a personal problem. No one else sees me that way. Someone once told me we wouldn’t care what people thought about us if we knew how seldom they did. Wear whatever you want, don’t cut your hair and remember the shallow folks critical of others are just insecure about themselves. I’m 47 and healthy, I plan to wear a bikini on the beach until the day I die and I’m not having surgery for anything that isn’t life threatening or doesn’t hurt like hell. Old is something we get to be if we’re fortunate. Be proud, not embarrassed. You’re beautiful just the way you are 🙂

    1. Loretta, This is the best thing I’ve heard in ages!

      -we wouldn’t care what people thought about us if we knew how seldom they did-

      Absolutely love it, thanks so much for writing and rock on with yourself.


  27. Honey, when we get to this age, that is the time to do as we please. I recommend When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple by Alfre Woodard. Great book. Love your post. @SRumzi

  28. I will do whatever I want with my hair…..and wear what I want when I wish….ALWAYS APPROPRIATELY…for I am God’s child….and HE is the only One I need to please!

  29. Last year I banned shorts from my wardrobe. Last weekend at the beach I thought, if my 82yo aunt can pull off shorts, why can’t I? Someday I’m going to wish I had these 45yo legs! I also have long hair, but feel more “appropriate” when it’s put up/tied/braided.

  30. Gems from Twitter:

    @twowisegals: As long as one she doesn’t look like mutton dressed as lamb. 🙂

    @loving_my_years: We can do anything we want to do at any age! 🙂

    @bloowriter: As a woman you are allowed anything your heart desires. You are your own person.

  31. I’m actually fairly conservative in how I dress so if I automatically jump back when I look in the mirror, I change clothes. Otherwise, figure if it doesn’t kill me, it isn’t going to kill anyone else either. I’ve always had really fine, flyaway hair and the gray is giving my hair more body. I’m TRYING to convince myself that it is a benefit.

  32. Despite the fact that I am often told by my loving husband, “You’re too old to wear that” I usually wear whatever in the hell I want. After all, people aren’t usually looking at us anyway, they’re checking out the sweet young thing on the o…ther side of the street. So who cares??? Life is too short to wear or do anything because we “should.” Whatever makes you feel good. Want to keep your hair long? DO. Want to dye it? DO. Want to zip line through the jungle in your underwear? Who cares! DO!

  33. Women of a certain age are allowed to do anything they feel comfortable doing. Some people shouldn’t wear certain attire at any age. As for dying your hair: My granddaughter has been told to make sure my roots don’t show before they close the lid on the coffin.

  34. Awesome post! I’ve been dealing with the whole long and shorts of it too. This year I even tried to tell myself it was just because I needed to lose a few lbs and then I’d look just as good as before, but I’m afraid I’ve gained a few Years and I will never look as good as before:) Oh well. I guess by the time we really don’t care what other people think–we’ll forget why we should.
    Glad I found your blog link on twitter. Love the humor!

  35. Just found you via a Twitter FF and am following you here and there. Between your Tweets and blog posts, I’ll be laughing and nodding my head over and over. Thanks!

  36. Veronica you are too lovely and young a person to be really worried what others think of you. You will probably figure out that “that certain age” is not what it used to be and that you are so vibrant and active that it will not matter to you after a while.

  37. I can remember my Grandmother saying she dreaded Summer because of all the big legs & other body parts that come uncovered in the Summer. As I have aged I have noticed that there are body parts that just don’t need to be put out there for the public good! That does not always pertain to age…but I do think there is appropriate clothing out there… See More for everyone’s benefit!!! Last week at the St. Louis Zoo, I saw a young security guard tell a “hot” young girl to pull her shirt back down over her midriff instead of cooling herself with it pulled up. I was shocked, but then appreciative when I realized I had not seen many half dressed people walking around with unattractive meat hanging out! Even my teenagers & husband commented on a couple of skin tight outfits a young girl & an old one had on that were bathing suit cover-ups(barely!)
    The apes in the zoo however were stretched out with their asses right up to the glass (pretty gross really!) They definitely did not care!!! I absolutely do think there should be laws requiring unattractive asses to be covered! At least with a damn sarong! I’m kidding about the law thing…but people should have some respect for others & themselves!!!

  38. Well, Veronica, you’re going to toss these questions around for a few months. When you stop, and you realize it doesn’t matter, I will welcome you to cronehood and you can choose not to give a damn what others see when they look. (Hint: They’re not really looking anymore, and that only stays heartbreaking for a little while. Promise.)

    … it is, in fact, enormously liberating.

  39. Your Doc probably has them too Shawn, hehe. Just like my Doc tells me I have to lose weight & all I can see is his big ole’ gut, haha

  40. Love it!!! BTW am getting butterfly’s tattoo’d over the spider veins!! Told my Dr and he appreciates not having to look at them too!!

  41. Omg. I blogged this week about “Spanx.” And for me, it is Capri pants all the way! The cellulite and spider veins so dictate! What a fun post! molly

  42. You my friend are my favorite blogger and I can so relate to your stories and sharing your life with us strangers!
    I am almost 50 and hate my legs/thighs all of a sudden and will only wear Capri’s now. Alot of it has to do with some medical issues changing my skin turgor. But heck, I never used to give a crap what people think of me so why I suddenly do I do not know, or understand. I guess as life goes on I will figure it all out. Until then I will plug along and read your blog and perhaps gain some insight, or at least know that I am now alone!

  43. Miss V. Wonderfully funny and too true. Being a Judith/Judi, I’m a bit taken aback by the Hey Judys – but laughing. Not too long ago I saw a woman of our age riding on the back of a Goldwiing, wear a tank top. Have you even seen Hey Judys flapping in the wind at 65 mph?

    I’ve opted out of shorts (mostly) and donned sun-dresses; a nice compromised between the former and mumus. Not very good for hiking though.
    Waiting for the silver to overtake the dark brunett. My sister has reached that point already. Beautiful.

    I think many of our generation are wobbling between how natural or assisted to go when it comes to aging. I have a tough example to follow as my mother always looked a good 15 years younger than her age.

  44. Love the post! I hit the big 5-0 this year…. YIKES! Already! I still wear shorts but they are longer these days and tons of capris. Too hot for me to wear anything but tanks! But one day I will day to change my ways, just hope not too soon.. hot flashes are a B*&#%!!!!! Keep writing and I will keep reading!

    prpldy (at) comcast dot net

  45. I enjoyed your post too, Miss V! Like you, I don’t fall into one camp — to let it all hang out, or nip and dye just a bit. I tried dying my hair for a while, but I just didn’t like having to be in town for a long hairstyling session at just the right time. My opportunity to go silver came when I was sort of in a ‘hiding out’ mode as caregiver to a very sick relative. That way, no one really noticed the “stripe” until I could cut it off! (Actually my Blogger pic still shows the dyed short hair.)

    Shorts? Well, I’m already short, and they make me look like a munchkin. But I live in Arizona, so it goes without saying that at some point I’m going to be caught in public in shorts. However, formally I avoid showing lots of leg around strangers. If I don’t like how my legs look in shorts, I’m not going to force others to look, too.

    Sleeveless? See above, Arizona forces a certain amount of exhibitionism in us all!

    I do find myself avoiding the mirror more. Just watch out for hidden cameras. One snap and you’re caught looking like a “strega nona” (grandmother witch) for the rest of your life!!

  46. Love this post. I am more or less your age (actually my kids are older than yours, LOL) and plan to keep my long hair forever. Both the Mr. and I like it long, as a “sop” to comfort though, I have the front/top cut short (started for diving ease of keeping it out of my mask, but I so love not having it in my face I’ve kept it). On top of that, I’m silver. My son (29) asked me what color it was and if he could color his that color, he liked it so much. I laughed and told him, “NO, this isn’t out of a bottle, you have to EARN this color, Mr.” I happen to have light eyebrows and people can’t decide if I’m old and silver or just a platinum blonde. It just makes me laugh. On the pants, I go for comfort, but for me comfort is also conservative, pretty t-shirts with short sleeves and either longish shorts or capris (petal pushers, LOL, showing my age here, LOL) but don’t like real baggy ones. I really enjoy your blog. Thanks for sharing. Smiles

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