Funny and Inspirational Quotes – GypsyNester Style

Our favorite funny and inspirational quotes – GypsyNester style!
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I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than the things I haven’t done -Lucille Ball

Those who dance are considered insane by those who can’t hear the music. George Carlin

The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. Sonya Friedman

The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it. – Chinese proverb

You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you. Mary Tyler Moore

If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it. Jonathan Winters

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I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

The kindest thing you can do for the people you care about is to become a happy, joyous person -Brian Tracy

If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one -Dolly Parton

“Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.” -Albert Schweitzer

You can only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough -Mae West

Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused

I could not, at any age, be content to take my place by the fireside and simply look on. Live was meant to be lived. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine. -Whoopi Goldberg

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. -Robert Bault

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, again. Then quit. There’s no use in being a damn fool about it. W.C. Fields

When people are laughing, they’re generally not killing each other. Alan Alda

Old age is fifteen years older than I am. Oliver Wendell Holmes

The only time to eat diet food is while you are waiting for the steak to cook -Julia Child

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Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician!

A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life. Muhammad Ali

You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen. But if you are beautiful at 60, it will be your soul’s own doing. -Marie Stopes

It is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them. Agatha Christie

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness. Mark Twain

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them -Phyllis Diller

To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee. -William H Walton

I’m old enough and cranky enough now that if someone tried to tell me what to do, I’d tell them where to put it. -Dolly Parton

Worry is as useless as a handle on a snowball. -Mitzi Chandler

Inside every 70-year-old is a 35-year-old asking, “What happened?” -Ann Landers

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Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out!

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. – Paul Ehrlich

It’s my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. Lily Tomlin

There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its mother’s age. -Dr. Benjamin Spock

The day a child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise. Alden Nowlan

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. -Marilyn Monroe

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong. -Charles Wadsworth

I still feel thirty, except when I try to run. -Bob Newhart

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. -Katharine Hepburn

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: Checkout time is eighteen years – Erma Bombeck

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it -Buddy Hackett

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The purpose of life is not to arrive safely at death

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. Erma Bombeck

If you can’t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you’d best teach it to dance. George Bernard Shaw

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? Milton Berle

If I had my life to live over again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner. Tallulah Bankhead

Retirement must be wonderful. I mean, you can suck in your stomach for only so long. -Burt Reynolds

Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that’ll get you home earlier -Dan Bennett

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around… -Mark Twain

You shouldn’t compare yourself to others -they are more screwed up than you think!

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you. – Mel Brooks

Leap and the net will appear -John Burroughs

I have everything I had twenty years ago, only it’s all a little bit lower. -Gypsy Rose Lee

Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere -Erma Bombeck

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Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway. -John Wayne

The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you. John E. Southard

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight -Phyllis Diller

Age is not important unless you are a cheese. -Helen Hayes

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers -Socrates

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? -Satchel Paige

We are like tea bags -we don’t know our own strength until we’re in hot water -Sister Busche

Families are like fudge. Mostly sweet with a few nuts

Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body -George Carlin

Those who boast about being “brutally honest” are usually more brutal than honest. -Lori Palatnik

All women have an hour glass figure – it’s just that we all tote around different amounts of sand

Never say anything about yourself you do not want to come true – Brian Tracy

You know you’re getting old when all the names in your black book have M.D, after them. Arnold Palmer

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Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life -Kitty O’Neill Collins

Love is a game that two can play and both win. -Eva Gabor

If we threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back. -Regina Brett

No one can make you feel inferior without you consent -Eleanor Roosevelt

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” – Mr. Rogers

The future ain’t what it used to be -Yogi Berra

Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God, do you learn. -C.S. Lewis

The Holidays!

Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect. -Oren Arnold

A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween. Erma Bombeck

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. Rodney Dangerfield

I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween!

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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor -Phyllis Diller

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves -Bill Vaughan

May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been, the foresight to know where you’re going, and the insight to know when you’re going too far.

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a new job the next day. -Phyllis Diller

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4th, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnices where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies dies of happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism. -Erma Bombeck

There, I guess King George will be able to read that. – John Hancock (after signing the Declaration of Independence)

Spring is Nature’s way of saying, “Let’s Party!” -Robin Williams

Enjoy!
David & Veronica, GypsyNester.com

Also available as an audiobook from Audible.com 

Going Gypsy One Couple’s Adventure from Empty Nest to No Nest at AllGoingGypsyBook.com#1 Amazon Best Seller“If you are tempted by the awakening of your own long-dormant wanderlust, Going Gypsy can serve as a primer. . . . The questions [Veronica] poses about ‘what next’ are relatable ones for all empty nesters.” —PBS’s Next Avenue

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Celebrating Life After Kids ™
David & Veronica are experiencing the collision of Baby Boomer and
Empty Nester. We decided to grab life by the horns, sell the nest and become GypsyNesters!

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