A Little Talked About Sign of Aging

Veronica Writing

Here’s the thing.

My best features come from my Romanian roots. I’ve always enjoyed having dark hair and blue eyes.

I am psyched that my “gray” hair is silver, some people pay big bucks for that.

Dracula was Romanian, and by most accounts was a particularly handsome man-thing.

That being said, we Romanians are a very hairy people. My beloved Grandpa not only had follicles growing out of his ears, but in his later years his lobes looked like small woodland creatures.

My stunningly gorgeous mother had quite the collection of creams, bleaches, waxes and other tortuous means of ripping hair out of unwanted locations. No hair loss treatments in her bathroom! She was just the opposite.

Luckily, I have a dash of the less hirsute Western European DNA in the mix, so I don’t look like Cousin Itt. Yet.

Armed and ever aware of my Romanian hairy-heritage, I remain on steadfast lookout for the inevitable mustache, the gratuitous nose whisker or stray fur bearing mole. I’ve been beating back a unibrow since puberty. I am immune to the pain of tweezers.

But as the years have passed, I’ve been forced to employ magnifying reading glasses to keep up my persistent plucking practice. Seeing is a top priority while I keep unruly outgrowths at bay.

But nothing prepared me for what I found in the mirror recently.

I HAVE AN EYEBROW ON MY EYELID! And it’s a honker. Browbeating me, as it were.

Let me clarify a bit. My newest brow tress is situated on the lid that covers my eye when I blink. This position gives the little monster the undue advantage of not being visible when look in the mirror with my eyelids open.

I’ve concluded that the ten-foot-long eyebrow hair achieved its great length by hiding under the rim of said eye-wear. But discovering the existence of the strong willed stray gave me no advantage, it had cleverly chosen an impossible-to-tweeze spot. This fact did not detour me from the task at hand though, the sucker had to be plucked.

In order to get close enough to the mirror for my assault, I donned my cheater-glasses and hoisted one knee up on the vanity for hands-free support while leaning in at a vertigo inducing angle.

With one eye closed, clutching the tweezers in my right hand, I used my left forefinger to gingerly reach behind the lens of my cheaters whilst trying not to leave a view-obstructing smudge. I could therefore elevate my upper lid high enough to see the offending hair.

Unfortunately, this feat prevented any light from coming in from above, seriously impeding my efforts. The thought of pinching even a teeny part of my eyelid with the tweezers during the yanking procedure promptly precipitated my aborting of the mission.

Three more eye-wateringly unsuccessful attempts and I had resigned to the fact that the obstinate sucker was never coming out. I was destined to go through the rest of my life with a marmot covering my eye. Maybe I should just treat it as a pet and name it.

Problem is, the only moniker I can come up with should not be repeated in mixed company.

Veronica, GypsyNester.com

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47 thoughts on “A Little Talked About Sign of Aging”

  1. Does the word electrolysis ring a bell? I’m not one of the hirsute. I never have to shave. I know. Don’t hate me. I plucked my eyebrows when I was young and they never grew back. I need an eyebrow pencil, not tweasers! I’m an anomaly, the other side of the spectrum.

  2. Forget the long hair, just pluck before it gets too long, just do your thing and toss your silver locks, people may not notice “the hair.” Okay not true, but they may be so blown away by your locks they will look pass the misplaced hair.

  3. This is hysterical. When I hit 50 I was shocked to see a three inch long chin hair and was amazed I never saw it before it got so long. And I use a magnifying mirror to put on my makeup (I know, brave of me to see wrinkles up close and personal.) We baby boomers can relate to this blog!

    1. Right? Those magnifying mirrors are brutal – but I suppose it’s better than sticking a mascara wand in your eyeball! Having developed a chin hair yet. Oh wait… let me go check before I confirm that. -Veronica

  4. My nightmare for decades has been that of being a castaway on a desert island, which is manageable…BUT WITH NO TWEEZERS! If and when I was rescued nobody would be able to tell by my face that I’m a woman if I’d gone even a month without tweezers. My daughter is under strict command to visit me daily in whatever nursing home I end up, to tweeze daily. No excuses~

  5. i attached a 12x suction cup mirror to a bathroom cabinet door***i can sit on the vanity, move the door back and forth, get the best angle and pluck away!

  6. Thanks for laughs this morning 🙂

    When my mom was in a nursing home, she would have me bring Nair to get rid of the long gray facial hairs on her still smooth brown skin. Mom would hold up a piece of paper like she was reading close up. She did this to hid what we were doing, however, you could not hide the strong hard boiled egg odor.

  7. only a suggestion, perhaps you can discreetly wear a little eye-shadow, one that blends in with the colour of your eyes ! 🙂 xx

  8. This is so funny. Wooly ears, fuzzy eyebrows and tweezers? Really, I am assuming you are man. Get a comb, a pair of scissors and begin. It is better if you can get the partner to do it but it is not nearly as much fun. Don’t kill the ‘hair’ just get it under control!


  9. Okay, here’s the good news about getting older. Formerly hairy parts suddenly become sparse. Less to worry about when wearing a swimsuit. Savings on razors for shaving one’s legs.

  10. Mexicans aren’t far behind the Greeks in the hairy category. I’ve made my daughter swear on a bible that if I am ever comatose in the hospital she will come in to pluck all the new sprouts for me.

  11. Thank you, thank you for this hilarious post and the ensuing discussion. I, too, have hair growing in all of the wrong places…and misery loves company!

  12. Thank you both and indeed your posters too for this, made me giggle and certainly brightened up my morning. Keep up the good work! 🙂

  13. Oh my, the great ‘pluck-a-thon’begins! I agree with those who claim they grow overnight. I keep a beady eye out and yet am constantly amazed to look in the mirror on a regular basis and find that a biggie has emerged.

    And sometimes in the strangest of places. At least I don’t have kids highlighting my challenges like my friend did.

    He and the family were having dinner one night, sharing stories of how their day had gone. His perky 4 year old announced that she had told her baby-sitter and the kids at day care “You’ll know my Dad because he has hairs sticking out of his nose”!

  14. Not Romanian, but close enough. Serbian-Yugoslavian. Been battling the sneaky hair inhabitants for a good 10 years now. Here’s the thing, go to the drug store, buy a 10x magnifying mirror (make sure you are sitting down the first time you look in it). You will be able to pluck sans cheaters and without doing the death balance on the vanity top (know that one too).
    Just a little been-there-done-that advice from the MAD Goddess.

  15. Greek father and English mom – I ended up taking after mom as to amount of hair. It’s never been an issue. Also I’m blond, so it doesn’t show much. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve found some very odd hairs -like a FIVE inch hair on the back of my knee. Yeah, I measured it. WTH?! Found another, maybe two inches on the back side of my upper arm.

    My favorite is the one gray hair that sprouts overnight just above my left eyebrow. It goes from zero to one inch overnight. Here’s the thing – no one in my family goes gray. Mom is 79 and has maybe a dozen gray hairs on her head. My Greek dad passe at 69, but his hair was still all black (with a salt and pepper beard). I’m 52 – no gray hairs – except that one weird eyebrow hair.

    And Anonymous, I empathize. I’ve had thyroid issues the past three years – hyperthyroid, but take meds that sometimes push me to hypo. So my hair grows in, then falls out, then grows in, then I shed again….

    Thanks for the great post – made me smile 🙂

  16. Puerto Ricans and Italians are also hairy people…my grandmother had so much hair on her legs that she needed a weed whacker and my daughter sported some extremely thick eyebrows until she tweezed them….

    Her sister said she had a “unibrow.”

  17. Tweezers? They are now an appendage on my body. I think I could grow a Santa beard if the hairs were left alone Ho Ho Ho! I am getting really good at it without needing a mirror. I sit in front of the TV and IT just happens – Tweezing! I have tweezers all over the house, in my purse, and in the car. They are as much a part of my life as my husband and children are.
    So my advise, just give in and let nature take its course!

  18. I can identify with you. I have tweezed daily for the past 50 years. I carry tweezers in my wallet change purse less I forget the tiny things when traveling, and cried like a baby when TSA took them once as I was going through security at an airport. Now I have three pairs hidden in all different places when I travel in case my checked luggage is lost (and it often is). Not to mention that you also need to carry a 3x magnifying mirror to see the little stubs. I’ve tried Nair, the peel off strips that you rub between your hand to warm up, the soft sandpaper rub off (they don’t work), all in the name of vanity and hygeine. Is there a better way? Please tell me if you find it

  19. I’m entirely convinced that periodically a white hair will sprout and grow a full inch long in a single night!

    Forget the eyeglasses. I invested in a lighted 12X magnifying mirror. I still have difficulty finding the ones that are invisible until you get the light just right, but it is still an enormous help!

  20. The most hideous hair on the chin is the straight single hair which feels like a rigid whisker ; this particular type of single hair is usually felt with the hand before visually noticed. Sometimes it appears in two or three different places on the chin. Once they are pulled out, they will re-appear in a week or two. Could do without this in my “golden” years.

  21. Well my father was Greek, and we know how hairy the Greeks are. but thankfully, I took after Mom, English/German

    So hair, was not a big thing on me, even though my Dad resembled the apes as close cousins.
    My problem with aging, is falling!! you know, chin to neck, boobs to waist, knees to ankles. I think everything fell at least two inches, except my bones, they only shrank about half an inch.

    I am beginning to look like a chinese sharpae pup, I’m sure the spelling is all wrong, but you get the guist of what I am saying. Surgery is not the answer for me, I enjoy eating too much, and can’t afford a whole new wardrobe anyways.

  22. Ok, enough already! All this talk about being hairy has me totally jealous. I happen to have a hypothyroid condition that I developed when I turned 50 which has turned me in to a hairless Mexican. First of all, since there is also some Mexican Indian in my blood line I wasn’t too hairy to begin with from the the start; now I mostly look like Whoopi.

    My legs and arms were a plus, but my dilemna right now are my eyebrows. Infact, I have so few left that I wake up each morning just to count them. I can’t even wash my face too vigorously for fear I might just loose one. My wish for Christmas is to get a forehead lift and then travel to California and get Kat Von D from the show, La Ink, to tatoo some eyebrows in for me.

    The forehead lift being a crucial part of this plan since I don’t want to run around with tatooed eyebrows covering my eyes in a few years. So as you see your hairy eyebrows are someone else’s wish. LOL

    Stay young and let freedom ring!

  23. I can empathize and my French ancestry is also a contributing factor. An eyelid, wow, that’s a tender site.

    I simply can no longer see at the odd angles it takes to tweeze my chin. Short of standing on my head (a real feat in a motorized wheelchair) to have light where I need it, I end up working blindly, or asking my daughter to help when she visits.

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