In Search of the Worst Christmas Song of All Time

In search of the worst Christmas song ever

Ahhhhhh… Christmas. The most wonderful time of the year.

Nothing gets us in the spirit of the season more than tuning into the all-Christmas music station and wallowing in the warmth.

Classics from Bing, Judy and Nat fit the bill for cockle-warming, but then a real clunker will pop in to remind us that not all holiday songs are classics.

We understand that radio stations have a limited playlist from which to choose, and snafus are inevitable. For example, we recently heard back-to-back versions of Santa Claus is Coming to Town while awaiting the drill in the dentist’s office.

While Michael Jackson and Bruce Springsteen vocally duking it out over the Big Man’s visit may be a tiny bit off-putting, nothing stops our holiday spirit dead in its tracks like a truly horrid Christmas song.

Our most recent family holiday get-together found us gathered around the radio. Brenda Lee, followed by Burl Ives, lent their joyous voices to our celebration, but things took a turn when a real clunker reared its ugly head.

This prompted a wildly fun discussion.

Just what is the worst Christmas song ever? Everyone offered numerous contenders.

Sometimes great artists have bad ideas and put in strong candidates for the title of worst holiday music ever and, in other instances, even the greatest singers can’t save a horrible piece of song writing.

And sometimes there’s just no explanation.

Marshmallow World

“…and the sun is red, like a pumpkin head…” Seriously? The sarcasm runs deep during this fabulous performance.

Wonderful Christmas Time

We love Sir Paul, but just hearing these synthesizers pop in is enough to burst anyone’s holiday bubble.

Home for the Holidays

Yes, it’s a classic, but it’s like two songs. Have you actually listened to the bizarre geography lesson lyrics in the verse? “I met a man who lives in Tennessee and he was headin’ for Pennsylvania and some homemade pumpkin pie. From Pennsylvania folks are trav’lin’ down to Dixie’s sunny shore. From Atlantic to Pacific, gee, the traffic is terrific!

Last Christmas

Wow. Just wow. The video is a must watch for some good time-capsule action.

Little Drummer Boy (Justin Bieber and Busta Rhymes’ version)

What made someone think that an ode to the baby Jesus and a shout out to your Twitter followers should be in the same recording?

There is certainly room for debate, after all, someone must like these songs.

Perhaps together we can come up with a winner for the most annoying, most obnoxious, never-want-to-hear-it-again Christmas song of all time.

The floor is open… leave your thoughts in the comments.

David & Veronica,

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51 thoughts on “In Search of the Worst Christmas Song of All Time”

  1. It’s been many years since we heard this rendition of “Oh Holy Night”. The song makes us laugh every time!

  2. I once again will enter my vote for worst Christmas song to be Christmas At KMART by Rootboy Slim and the Sexchange Band.

  3. You beat me to my two picks: Drummer Boy (tho this one drove me nuts even Before Bieber) and Sir Paul’s. To be honest, the incessant playing of carols is one of the (many) reasons I much prefer Thanksgiving. No ‘Deck the Halls with Boughs of Turkey’, much less ‘Little Drumstick Boy’. For four more reasons, see my post Meanwhile, I’m sharing this one!

  4. OH! OH! This is the best blog ever, you guys! I’m totally sharing. Justin Bieber rapping Little Drummer Boy wins IMHO, and I didn’t even know that song existed. (Glad I didn’t.)

  5. For me, the absolute worst Christmas song:
    “Grandma got run over by a reindeer”….& the last line: “Muhry Christmas”….when I drove for UPS, I was glad to be out making a delivery when this song came on!

  6. All I want for Christmas is You – Maria Carey makes me feel so un christmassy… Last Christmas is quite good even Jimmy Eat World Covered it!

  7. I would have to put in a vote for Alvin and the Chipmunks. That’s like nails across a chalkboard! What a fantastic idea on this post and great list you two! 🙂

  8. There many bad songs out there. I don’t like most of the Spanish ones. But for Xmas I tend to concentrate on the good parts of life and find the great songs for this wonderful holiday. Still, thanks for pointing out what songs to avoid.

  9. Please Daddy Don’t Get Drunk this Christmas. It’s depressing as heck. John Denver Rocky Mountain Christmas Album. Love most of the songs, skip this one every single time.

  10. Thank you for inflicting on me three ‘totally new to me’ Christmas abominations! While technically I didn’t have to hit the play button in reality you left me no other choice! Afraid I couldn’t pick the worse one out but I would like to give a shout out for ‘Santa Baby’ chosen by Larry – I love it (but please don’t tell anyone):-)

  11. I love Last Christmas, but not because it’s good because it’s so bad it’s good. It’s so cheesy, and luckily being a Christmas song I only hear it a few times a year so I can’t get too sick of it.

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