Our current approach to divorce law makes it a scary, negative experience for a couple. We put ourselves through a tremendous amount of torture to get on the other side to freedom to think and live for ourselves. The divorce process is one that strips your dignity, money, and control, subjecting you and your family to the whim of the court. There rarely are any winners because both sides lose money, sanity, and peace.
A saner, less expensive, and swifter approach to divorce entails working with a mediator to peaceably iron out the details of the agreement. Mediation offers the following advantages:
-
- Resolve the negotiation process in as little as a few weeks.
- Save thousands, if not tens of thousands of dollars.
- Reduce stress.
- Maintain a civil relationship with your partner, even after the divorce.
- Minimize the impact and disruption to the children’s lives.
Given all the advantages, you may wonder why don’t more couples choose a mediator?
The main reason people choose divorce litigation instead of a mediator is simply the lack of awareness that an easier and less expensive process exists.
We are conditioned to turn immediately to a lawyer. If you ask someone who recently experienced a divorce for a referral, you’ll receive the name of an attorney. Rarely will anyone tell you you’re better off seeking a mediator. The outcome is simply due to the lack of knowledge.
However, not every situation is suitable for mediation. Divorce does tend to bring out the worst in a person and you will see them manifest their ugliest characteristics, primarily due to the vitriol created by the lawyers. When people are fighting to keep their money or custody of their children they may even need dna testing Las Vegas.
If couples are fighting and completely unwilling to negotiate, they won’t be able to work with a mediator. In fact, the mediator won’t agree to work with them and will recommend they each find their own attorneys.
To work with a mediator, you must be able to hold a civil conversation and be willing to negotiate. Negotiating means you may not get everything you want in the agreement. There will be a give and take on both sides, assisted by the mediator. The mediator is not legal representation for either of you, rather he or she is there to counsel and guide you to working out the various points of your agreement. Your initial consultation will determine the number of meetings required to work through the various parts of your agreement including division of assets, child custody, visitation, etc. If your situation is more complicated, i.e., there is a family-owned business which must be assessed to determine its value, then the mediator may bring third party professionals to the table to work through these different areas of concern. As long as the two of you can peaceably agree to some basic points, the mediator should be able to guide you relatively easily and quickly through the process.
When you can divorce in a peaceful matter, less the stress and drawn out court appearances, why would you want to handle it any other way?
