Single & Over 50? Why the Heck Would You Live Alone? I’d be too…

I’m not gonna lie and pretend that I haven’t thought about what I would do if David kicked the bucket – we participate in way too many crazy, fear-conquering shenanigans so, yes, the notion has passed through my head.

I know I wouldn’t want to live alone if I were to become suddenly single.

I’d be lonely, wouldn’t be able to afford to travel as I’d want need to, and I’d certainly not want to do a reverse boomerang and move in with… CONTINUE READING >>

We were intrigued the first time we heard about Roommates4Boomerswhat a great idea!, we thought. After delving deeper, we decided to interview the woman behind it and were offered the chance to make a teeny-tiny amount of money if folks decide to use the service by clicking links on this post. Just so you know. Oh, and as always, all opinions are our own.

Roommates4Boomers helps find roommates for women over 50

We talk a lot about empty nest couples’ issues on our site, because that’s what we live and know.

But we are aware that there are a bunch of you out there that are not part of a couple.

How do I know that? Because we often get comments on our site and Facebook page asking us how a person can have a flourishing life while single and “of a certain age.”

It’s hard for us to answer those questions — not having that life experience ourselves — and usually end up asking our wonderful community to pitch in their thoughts/ride to our rescue.

Roommates4Boomers helps find roommates for women over 50

So when I found out about Roommates4Boomers in this article in Midlife Blvd, I was intrigued.

Could this be a good resource we could share with our single, female friends?

I’m not gonna lie and pretend that I haven’t thought about what would happen if David kicked the bucket.

I often think about it during those panic moments when I do arguably stupid stuff to purposely overcome my many fears. It would truly suck if David were squished like a bug as we jumped out of an airplane, ziplined over a 300-foot waterfall or fed ravenous crocodiles. My life would change in a horrible, drastic way.

OR David could finally tire of my semi-crazy, rapidly aging and spreading butt and want to trade me in for a newer model. Though I look at that future as a far less likely scenario than the bug squish, I’ve seen it happen to much better women than I.

Roommates4Boomers helps find roommates for women over 50

Following those thoughts to their ultimate conclusion, I know I wouldn’t want to live alone if I were to become suddenly single.

I have friends that are single and happily unfettered — and that’s fantastic — I just know I wouldn’t be.

I’d be lonely, wouldn’t be able to afford to travel as I’d want need to, and I’d certainly not want to do a reverse boomerang and move in with The Spawn (that’s the last thing they’d need after losing their dad in a spectacular insect-like fashion). I would also want the safety that comes with someone else being around.

Here are some interesting knowledge-bits I found on the Roommates4Boomers site:

· One in three Boomer women are single.

· Research shows that living alone as you age can lead to isolation and loneliness, as well as mental and physical decline.

· Research shows that men who have wives, live longer; women who have active female friendships, live longer.

· Sharing a home is a great way for Boomer women to keep socially connected, financially secure, safe, healthy and happy.

· Boomer women are turning to shared housing for positive reasons – for companionship, mutual support, independence, and fun.

Roommates4Boomers helps find roommates for women over 50

That last one caught me off guard – because in my innermost thoughts about being without David, the overriding emotions are dark and sad.

To get more insight on that stat, I got founder, Karen Venable, on the horn.

Karen told me when she found herself single after her twenty-five year marriage ended, she moved in with a girlfriend who was also newly divorced. It turned out to be a wonderful experience.

After a few years she felt ready to start dating again, and is now happily married to a man that she met through an online dating site.

Karen now shares the best of both of these experiences — the benefits of finding that perfect roommate by using algorithms similar to a dating site — through Roomates4Boomers.

“Life at our age can be a lot of fun,” says Karen, “I wanted to help people be joyful and have adventure.”

Roommates4Boomers helps find roommates for women over 50

Karen gave me permission to poke around the site a bit and I found it really easy to use. Members can choose to share space in their own homes or search for someone who has space to share.

I did notice that some areas of the country had a lot more matches (for the fake, single me) than others, however.

Karen explained to me that as the site has been growing (it launched in 2014), geographic pockets have sprung up organically. So in order to get more coverage, and therefore more good connections for everyone, members may create profiles and peruse potential roommates for free. It doesn’t cost one cent until you want to reach out to a potential roommate!

I can confidently tell you that if I were single, I’d give Roomates4Boomers a shot.

At least until I was forced to give Match.com a try like Karen, and you don’t want to know what would happen to GypsyNester.com if I started to online date (ohhhhh how the snark would fly).

Let’s hope that never happens.

Veronica, GypsyNester.com

We were intrigued the first time we heard about Roommates4Boomerswhat a great idea!, we thought. After delving deeper, we decided to interview the woman behind it and were offered the chance to make a teeny-tiny amount of money if folks decide to use the service by clicking links on this post. Just so you know. Oh, and as always, all opinions are our own.

YOUR TURN: Isn’t this a great idea? Would you try a service like this or do you live alone and prefer it that way? What are the pros and cons of having roommates at our age?

11 thoughts on “Single & Over 50? Why the Heck Would You Live Alone? I’d be too…”

  1. Since you and David , as you say in your book, sold the house partly so none of the Spawn could come back after leaving for college, they might well be that hard-nosed back at you if you tried to move in on them if David died! You might be like Decibel begging for money in a crisis and told to go get 2 jobs. I hate the idea of living alone. My husband is 5 years older than me and I might well use the service you are promoting in this ad to find roommates if he died. I think it is a great idea. On the other hand, there might be a lack of stability if your roommates are looking for men and start moving out and leaving you with the expenses. You also must consider if they have weirdo relatives or friends who might come around and steal from you or put you in danger.

    1. Thanks for your thoughts Terri! You know what they say about paybacks… 😉 Though I saw Decibel’s predicament in Going Gypsy more as a teachable moment than a true crisis (not that she did), it was VERY hard for me to say no. And it did turn out that she learned – a lot.

      I would most definitely not take on a roommate without meeting them quite a few times in real life and discussing what we would expect from each other – for sure. I suppose it’s like any relationship, and I have had a roommate that was not ideal. Not as bad as being stolen from or put into danger, but you’ve brought up an excellent point.

  2. As much as I want my husband to live a lot more years, the reality is he is 14 years older than me so chances are he will die a significant number of years before me. I’m ok with that and am pretty sure will be ok with living alone. I’ve done it before. The question is whether I really have to live alone and the answer is no. If the opportunity presented itself to live with some friends or a random housemate, I wouldn’t dismiss it right away. Thanks for sharing via Better After 50 Writers 🙂

    1. Yeah, it was hard for me to open this what-if-something-happened-to-David can of worms fully like this, but think it’s probably a healthy, if uncomfortable, subject. I’m learning so much from the comments here and on our Facebook discussion about it. For me, who went from childhood, to roommates, to marriage — it would be daunting to live alone. Though I suspect there would be issues with a roommate that would take getting used to as well. -Veronica

  3. My sisters and I have a pact. When our husbands kick the bucket we will move in together. We’ve even planned our home and talk about it often. The only thing is we realize they won’t all die at the same time, and possibly it may be us kicking it first. However, in a perfect world, they will pass on and we will live out the rest of our days together, much happier in the same house than when we were children.

  4. There are many of us who have always been single and lived alone and loved it for our entire lives and continue to do so after age 50. Really, I can see how someone used to living with other people who is extroverted would find this a great solution, but do you really have to insult and denigrate people who are different from you and love living alone by asking “why the heck” as if we are some kind of freaks? Not everyone is extroverted. For some of us being around others constantly is a drain on our energy. Some of us love our privacy and will fulfill our social needs outside our homes. There is more than one way to live. Different strokes for differnet folks.

    1. Hey Monica! Thanks for your comment-I couldn’t agree more about different strokes, as I said in the post: “I have friends that are single and happily unfettered — and that’s fantastic — I just know I wouldn’t be.”

      I was writing my truth – and thank you so much for sharing yours and answering my question at the end, “…do you live alone and prefer it that way? What are the pros and cons of having roommates at our age?”

      I always like to hear all sides of an idea. -Veronica

  5. I’m a huge fan of Roommates4Boomers and what they’re doing to make life more manageable, fun, and safe for single women over 50 – which in turn makes it possible for them to have more money to spend on things that they want – like travel! And I appreciate your sharing of those scary sadness-inducing thoughts about “what if.” I have them too.

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